Ups and Downs

Our “Fear Less, Love More” t-shirt fundraiser came to a close at the end of September and man, what a success! We sold over 70 shirts and raised nearly $1,200! We also received several generous donations directly to our adoption fund! We are so grateful for everyone who decided to join our team and support our adoption. People from every chapter of our life bought shirts – family and friends, co-workers past and present, college friends and old roommates, along with friends of friends, and even a couple strangers! Shirts are on their way to everyone now and we can’t wait to see people wearing our “Fear Less, Love More” shirts.

Last month we completed our home study, which was formally reviewed by our adoption agency earlier this month and now we officially have an approved home study for Thailand! This means we are now eligible to be matched with a child from the Special Needs Project waiting child list and we are finalizing our dossier.

During our home study process, we spent a lot of time thinking about and praying over a particular 5 year old boy who was listed on the waiting child list for Thailand. We reviewed his file, had several doctor friends review his file, and also paid for a consultation with Johns Hopkins International Adoption Clinic to go over his developmental profile and potential unknowns. We did a lot of research and felt equipped to handle his special needs.

So, we asked Holt to add us to the boy’s family selection committee which would determine which family has the ideal family dynamic, most resources available, and who is overall best prepared to parent this specific child. It’s a great way to ensure their matches are successful – and puts the focus on what’s best for the child – but it’s an emotional rollercoaster for us! It was impossible not to become emotionally invested in this child we’ve said “yes” to before knowing if he will in fact be matched with our family.

Last week we found out that another family was ultimately selected as the best fit for this little boy at the committee meeting. We were told the adoptive mother is from Thailand and the whole family speaks Thai, which is rare, but of course a huge benefit for the child who will already have to endure enormous transitions during the adoptive process. Being emotionally invested in him makes our immediate response sadness, and while that sadness hasn’t gone away, our genuine care for him also helped us find peace knowing he was matched with a family that best fits his needs. We are so happy to know next year sometime he’ll be truly home in a loving family.

Christine and I took several days to process and come to terms with the fact that the boy we spent so much time preparing for wasn’t meant for us. God has a plan and we trust in His timing. We know our child is out there waiting for us to be selected as their parents. When that happens, we’ll know the child was always meant to be ours all along.

“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart.” Jeremiah 1:5

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